Bitter Champagne

It's no secret that there are many discrepancies between the UK and US versions of Ian Fleming's first four James Bond novels. During our first analysis of the novels for this Web site, we relied heavily on our old Signet paperback editions, which we've had since the mid-1980s. Towards the end of this project, we acquired a set of first-edition reprints of Fleming's original UK novels, allowing us to see some of the inconsistencies between the two versions. In the first three novels, most of the changes are fairly cosmetic, usually due to differences in British and American English, profanities, or in the case of Live and Let Die, the racially-charged language used by Fleming.

However, the edits to the American version of Diamonds Are Forever are more drastic, especially when it comes to our favorite topic, alcoholic beverages. In fact, one of Bond's drinks from the Jonathan Cape UK version isn't even found in its American cousin. Why this editing took place is something of a mystery. If the changes were strictly intended to remove references to alcohol, then there would simply be less drinks consumed in the novel. But as you'll see, this isn't usually the case. One major adjustment is the removal of American brand names. The bottom line? If you've only read the Signet edition, you might want to try the recent Penguin reprint of Diamonds Are Forever.

Let's examine the major differences between the UK and US versions:

• Chapter Five. As Tiffany waits between phone calls in her room at the Trafalgar Palace, she orders a large dry martini from room service. In the Signet edition, this is a double dry martini.
• Chapter Six. During the first leg of his flight to New York, Bond wishes he could join Tiffany Case in the downstairs cocktail lounge, but instead waits for the steward to bring around cocktails. In the Signet version, the word "cocktails" is changed to "martinis."
• Chapter Eight. When Felix Leiter takes Bond to Sardi’s, the Texan orders 007 a medium-dry martini with a piece of lemon peel (a twist in the US version). Bond thinks the drink is excellent, but doesn't recognize the brand of vermouth. Leiter reveals that it’s a new brand from California, Cresta Blanca (simply called domestic vermouth in the Signet edition). Bond admits it’s the “Best vermouth I ever tasted.” Leiter goes ahead and orders another round, and Bond finishes his first martini (simply his martini in the Signet edition). After they eat lunch, Leiter reveals that Tiffany Case suffered a bout with alcoholism, and was once known in the Florida Keys as the "boiled sweet." This was changed to the “pickled relish” in the US version.
• Chapter Nine. The waiter at 21 brings Bond and Tiffany two vodka martinis and some slivers of lemon peel in a wine glass (in the US version, the lemon slivers are in a shot glass). She drinks half her first martini in a gulp, although "gulp" does not appear in the Signet version. Tiffany has three of the cocktails. On the third one, she drinks it very slowly, in three swallows. (In the US edition, she simply slowly drinks it down.) Bond orders a bottle of Clicquot Rosé champagne; when it arrives, he notes that it is ice-cold and seems “to have a faint taste of strawberries." Bond thinks it is delicious.” (Curiously, the reference to the champagne being delicious is omitted from the Signet edition.) After dinner, they both have stingers made with white crème de menthe (in the US version they simply have stingers, with no mention of the liqueur). After dinner, as they talk about the Spangled Mob, Tiffany gazes moodily into her stinger and drinks it down; in the US edition, she moodily drinks her stinger down.
• Chapter Ten. During their drive to Saratoga, Bond and Leiter stop for lunch at a roadside restaurant named "Chicken in the Basket." In the British edition, "the scrambled eggs and sausages and hot buttered rye toast and the Millers Highlife [sic] beer came quickly and were good, and so was the iced coffee that followed it...." In the US edition, the beers are completely omitted.
• Chapter Eleven. Here we have an example of a major discrepancy between the two books. We'll begin with the Signet edition:

"He walked home with the crowds, had a shower and some sleep and then found his way to a restaurant near the sales ring and spent an hour drinking bourbon and branch water. Then he walked over to the sales ring which Leiter had fixed as a rendezvous."

The Jonathan Cape edition differs significantly:

"He walked home with the crowds, had a shower and some sleep and then found his way to a restaurant near the sales ring and spent an hour drinking the drink that Leiter had told him was fashionable in racing circles—Bourbon and branch water. Bond guessed that in fact the water was from the tap behind the bar, but Leiter had said that real Bourbon drinkers insist on having their whisky in the traditional style, with water from high up in the branch of the local river where it will be purest. The barman didn't seem surprised when he asked for it, and Bond was amused at the conceit. Then he ate an adequate steak and, after a final Bourbon, walked over to the sales ring, which Leiter had fixed as a rendezvous."

While many of the other changes we've examined have been minor, this one is almost beyond belief. Why are the two versions so different? Your guess is good as ours. The logical explanation might be that Americans had a good idea of what branch water was, and the editor felt the explanation was therefore unnecessary.
• Chapter Twelve. After Shy Smile is disqualified from the Perpetuities Stakes, Bond walks into the racetrack bar, intending to get a bourbon and branch water (which is just bourbon and water in the Signet edition).
• Chapter Thirteen. Fleming inserts a racist joke about a shot of rum that we won't repeat here. It does not appear in the US version.
• Chapter Fourteen. As Bond tells Leiter what happened to Tingaling Bell at Acme Mud and Sulphur, he drinks a whisky and water (most likely bourbon). In the Signet version, the American spelling of whiskey is used (as it is through the entire book). Later, when they go to the Pavilion, they both have very dry martinis, made with Cresta Blanca vermouth. (In the Signet edition, the martinis are made with domestic vermouth.) Later, Leiter orders Bond a bourbon and branch water and then talks about how there is no branch water in the desert. Curiously (given the edits made in Chapter Eleven), this section remains intact in the US version.
• Chapter Fifteen. As Bond rides in Ernie Cureo's cab down the Las Vegas Strip, he sees a sign for a drive-in restaurant offering Atomburgers and other foods. Interestingly, the Atomburgers are deleted from the list in the Signet version (they must have been top secret).
• Chapter Sixteen. A long paragraph involving Bond's journey to the Tiara Casino restroom is eliminated from the US edition.
• Chapter Seventeen. After Bond wins $5,000 in the fixed blackjack game, he orders a bourbon and branch water at the casino bar. In the UK edition, the bourbon is Old Grand-Dad; in the Signet edition, there is no brand, it's only identified as being from Kentucky. Bond and the barman also discuss the origin of the branch water (from a place by Boulder Dam), which makes the editing in Chapter Eleven all the more strange. In the UK edition, Bond stands with his back to the bar, with the glass in his hand, deciding his next move. In the US edition, Bond rolls the glass of bourbon between his hands. One other inconsistency: 007 gives the barman one silver dollar in the UK edition, but gives him two in the US version.
• Chapter Nineteen. The piano music in the Pink Garter Saloon in Spectreville reminds Bond of nursed drinks. (In the US version, this is straight drinks.)