Never Say Never Again (1983)

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Fatima Blush: “How reckless of me, I made you all wet.”
Bond: “Yes, but my martini’s still dry.”

Overview: SPECTRE steals two atomic bombs, and demands a ransom of...wait a minute, haven’t we reviewed this one already? Sean Connery turns in his final performance as 007, starring in this remake of Thunderball. While not an official EON production, this is a James Bond film, and therefore, drink totals are counted on the big board.

What does Bond drink?

• When Nurse Fearing visits Bond in his room at Shrublands, she uncovers the dinner he’s supposed to eat: “Lentil delight, dandelion salad, goat’s cheese.” Bond counters by opening his secret cache of delights, revealing “Beluga caviar, quail’s eggs, vodka, foie gras.” Feeding some of the foie gras to Patricia (who appears to enjoy it immensely), he reveals where it’s from: “Strasbourg.” The vodka in the case is a bottle of Absolut red label.
• In bed later, as Patricia sleeps, Bond takes a sip from a glass of red wine.
• At an outdoor bar in Nassau, Bond drinks a martini. He is splashed by the water-skiing Fatima Blush as she makes a pass by the bar. Later, she slides up a ramp to the bar, and grabs on to Bond, exclaiming, “How reckless of me, I made you all wet.” Bond replies, “Yes, but my martini’s still dry.”
• When Bond is in bed with the unnamed woman (played by Valerie Leon) in the Bahamas, there is a glass of champagne on the nightstand beside him. When Nigel Small-Fawcett makes a pest of himself on the phone, Bond places the receiver in the champagne bucket. (By the way, Ms. Leon played a hotel receptionist in The Spy Who Loved Me.)
• At Bond’s villa in Monte Carlo (as Bond uses a telescope to watch Domino), his assistant Nicole is at a bar cart, stirring (!) martinis. A bottle of Smirnoff red label vodka is visible.
• In the arcade, Bond “formally” introduces himself to Domino: “My name is Bond, James Bond. May I offer you a drink?” Domino accepts, and they walk to the bar, where Bond asks her, “Hard or soft?” Domino replies “Soft. I’ll have a double Bloody Mary with plenty of Worcestershire sauce.” Bond, obviously impressed, remarks, “I’d hate to think what you mean by hard! Vodka on the rocks for me.” When the order arrives, they clink glasses and drink. Bond’s vodka has lemon in it.
• Aboard Largo’s ship, the villain offers 007 a cigarette (Bond declines), and then a drink. Bond replies, “Vodka martini.” Largo laughs and says, “Of course.” Bond carries the drink around for several minutes (taking a prominent sip), as Largo shows him the ship.
• At the end of the film, Domino places a tropical drink next to Bond (who is in the hot tub). He replies, “I always have a martini at five.” Domino laughs and says, “You’ll never give up your old habits, James.” Bond answers, “No, you’re wrong. Those days are over.”

Other observations: This is the only Sean Connery Bond film in which 007 has a cigar (although he is not seen actually smoking it).

Memorable quotes:

M: “Too many free radicals, that’s your problem.”
007: “Free radicals, sir?”
M: “Yeah, they’re toxins that destroy the body and the brain. Caused by eating too much red meat and white bread, and too many dry martinis.”
007: “Then I shall cut out the white bread, sir.”

Product placement: Bottles of Absolut red label vodka are displayed prominently in two different scenes.

By the book: Based on Thunderball (1961). In the novel, Bond and Domino go to a restaurant outside Nassau, where he asks her “Do you want to drink solid or soft?” Domino says soft, and orders a double Bloody Mary with plenty of Worcester sauce. Bond asks “What do you call hard?” and orders a vodka and tonic with a dash of bitters. She tells him that she considers vodka on the rocks hard. “All that tomato juice makes it soft.” Never Say Never Again is the most recent Bond film to feature a drinking scene adapted from one of Fleming’s novels.

Total: Five drinks. Two vodka martinis, a vodka on the rocks, a glass of red wine, and some champagne.